Oh, Cain- Where are you????

I should probably change my name to Cain. Really. I made a bad choice this week and only myself and God are aware of it. I can feel him peering into my very soul, every corner and crevice. And even though he knows exactly where I am and what I've done, He still calls me. I am the reluctant one. Reluctant to come forward into His light. Ashamed that I failed a test. Unwilling to sully his presence with my sin. OOOh, did I say sully? I did because it fits my loathsomeness. What horendous crime did I commit? Well, I refuse to state my sin because by our standards many will think, oh, you're being too hard on yourself, but I beg to differ. Sin is sin and we should feel the weight of it. Whether its a lie or murder or all sins in between, we should feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit. We should feel the shame of wrongdoing.

I am going to make my journey today, humbly and repentantly, to His feet. I will beg His forgiveness. He will pick me up, dust me off, love me and say "go and sin no more". How do I know these events, before they have happened. Because that's the forgiving and loving God I serve and because that is what He always does- FORGIVE. The hardest part is forgiving myself.

Will You Be Having Whine WIth Your Meal?

"Work on Saturday again", she whined as she read this week's schedule. "Why do they have to open the bank on Saturday?"

Why? Isn't Monday - Friday enough. How I miss my Saturdays. What did I do on Saturdays that is so all-fired important? Nothing. I guess its just the idea of losing something that belonged to me. My Saturday, not theirs. I could get a pedicure if I wanted, or go to the movies. Maybe I would have a picnic with my sweetheart or take the grandkids to the zoo. But today, that's a no go because I have to work. Tired of my whining? I am a little tired of it as well. After all 4 hours is not that long. We're only opened until noon. (she said gleefully)

Gee, I wonder if it's too late to set an appointment for a pedicure?

(Sometimes you just feel like having a little whine :))

Critical- Again???

I found myself being critical today. Once I see myself being critical I begin to wonder how many times a day I am critical without recognizing it. It doesn't really matter who I was critical toward or the reason, they were in blissful ignorance of my criticism. What matters is God knew. He knew my thoughts as they were being conceived. He knew I would think them. Perfect me critical of imperfect whoever. Yuk!!!! I remember in the "olden days" preachers would say to be careful pointing a finger at someone else because you have three pointing right back at yourself. So true!

Please Lord, help me to remember that you were the only perfect man who walked this earth. We are all works in progress. Help me not to judge others but to pray for them as I hope someone is praying for me. The next time I am so inclined to compare myself to someone else, may I compare myself to you first. I think the process would be stopped dead in its tracks. Thank you, Lord.

MUSIC...

"Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak."
- William Congreve

So true. Put music in any situation and you will change the perspective of that situation. I have turned the radio on our alarm clock to classical music instead of the blaring foghorn where it was set. It is so much nicer to wake up to Brahms and Bach. Rick likes to go to sleep with the soothing sounds of John Talbot emanating from ITunes. There's one thing I have discovered- I cannot sleep very well to music. Why?? I am either trying to sing with it, in my mind, or compose to it. Well, I guess I'll go crank up the volume and get ready for work :)

I rode the Change Wave and all I got was this Stupid T-Shirt

Well, I made it past the ugly change wave I have been riding the past two days. Things feel normal, once again, and I use the word loosely. Is your normal living with parents, children and grandchildren - 10 people in all?? Well ours is for now and I love it. I come home to two munchkins that greet me like its been ages since they've seen me, not the 8 hours it's really been. Today Nick and Shayla (son and daughter-in-law) had dinner prepared when I got home and it was delicious. They told me they raided the pantry, put it all in a pot and called it Chicken Corn Chowder. Did I say I was blessed??? Isn't it interesting what a difference a day can make? Or maybe I should say, isn't it interesting what a difference God can make of a day:)

God - the Master Conductor

Have you ever read the Book of Ruth?? Ruth, a Moabitess, left home for Bethlehem with her mother-in-law, Naomi. She left her family, mother, father, sisters, brothers, to go with Naomi even though she tried to discourage her. We are all familiar with Ruth's statement - Where you go, I will go. That's beautiful in itself but going deeper into Ruth we can hear the symphony God is conducting. So far the instruments have just been tuning. Now the music begins, flutes and violins make their entrance as Ruth and Naomi take their journey. French horns join the movement as they set up house and begin the daily business of living. Drum roll as Ruth realizes she needs to work the fields in order to take care of her mother-in-law. Back to violins and add cellos and violas as she and Naomi discuss where she will glean. The rest is history. Boaz spotts her and God set in motion His marvelous plan. She eventually marries Boaz, the Kinsman Redeemer, and becomes one of the ancestors of Jesus.(Tympany roll and resounding cymbal clash!)

You may be thinking, what a romantic story. Someone should make it into a movie. What I see, though, is more than a love story. I see a great symphony, with God as conductor. Who could orchestrate a more beautiful love story with such a happy ending. Ruth played her instruments: selflessness in leaving her home, faithfulness to Naomi, willingness to work and take care of her. Boaz played his instruments: generosity to let her glean more than the leftovers, tenderness in seeing to her needs while she was working, protectiveness in allowing no one to molest her. And at the end of this masterpiece, Naomi praised God because she could hear the music and knew God had remembered them. Listen - Can't you hear the music, as well?

Seasickness???

Today I hate waves. Not the kind at the beach- those I love. No I'm writing about waves of homesickness, waves of sadness, waves of ... well, you name it. It seems I am pounded too often by waves of discomfort in my new job. Once the wave is passed I am good for a few days until the next one hits. Does anyone have a remedy??? OOPS- gotta go catch the wave :)

Oliver's World

In Oliver's world, Sesame Street is all that matters. Oliver is my 2 year old grandson and as long as he can play with his Sesame Street characters- life is good. He plays all day long with the likes of Big Bird, Super Grover, Cookie Monster, etc. and never gets tired of that world. Too bad it's not the same for us. We play all day with our own Oscar the Grouches, Counts, Elmos, etc. and we get very weary. We tire of having to say the same thing over and over. We tire of expectations that we cannot meet. We become frustrated when passed over for raises and promotions. Yet play with them daily, we must. Maybe we should take a lesson from Oliver and realize this playtime we have does not last forever. We should make the most of the hours we have to interact and then rush home to our real, safe and comfortable haven we call "home".